Hi, I’m Fleur Elizabeth!
Over an eight-week period, my Change Talk coaching course is designed to educate and guide you through each step to making viable change, then ask you evoking questions about what is important to you, what you want, and how you think you can do it. Your role is to answer them in your truth and then read them out loud. It is proven that you are likely to create a more sustainable change when you hear the change in your own voice, talking the change yourself, and making the argument about change. You will build your own connection to what needs, reasons and desires you have for change.
Your Triggers
As human beings, we were born to thrive. Our brains are designed to keep us alive and standing up straight – to warn us when there is danger and to help us have a good life generally. But when you have a background like ours (we are all here for the same reason, by the way), things get in the way. Triggers create emotions. Emotions create behaviours. Then, all of a sudden, you find yourself using food and drink to comfort yourself, to numb things. To mask pain. To distract yourself from all that stuff that is really uncomfortable to face. And when that works for you, then you find yourself in a cycle of repeating undesirable behaviours with food and drink. And you realise that you’re living a life you didn’t think you would live.
Cycles of Behaviours with Food and Drink
Why Do You Get Stuck
Let’s explore the common themes of drinking and eating and drinking irregularities, which are a direct correlation to the impact an abusive experience has on a woman.
So, let’s take a look at the correlation between our past, these forms of abuse that we’ve suffered, and this complicated relationship that we’ve got with food and drink.
The brain’s function is to protect. The brain’s function is to preserve life. When we have these emotional irregularities, our repetitive thoughts are the brain protecting and trying to preserve our lives. But it can often manifest in this pattern of overeating, binge eating, strict rules around eating, not eating enough, purging after we’ve eaten, control issues with over-exercising, or what we can and cannot do, and body image issues. You know, the mirror is the devil and a dangerous place. And so, these cycles and patterns that have resulted from these emotional triggers send us into another spiral. Which then becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy of self-loathing.
The Uncomfortable Word
And on top of this, there is this stigma of this horrible word called abuse. Nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody likes talking about it. Nobody who has been through it finds it easy to talk about it. We live in a society where talking about pain, in general, is uncomfortable and not very acceptable. And certainly not the norm.
This stigma creates loneliness. And then that drives depression.
And that drives anxiety.
And then, that drives behaviour. And that drives more triggers.
Then we go round and round and round again in the cycle of these irregular patterns of food and drink choices.
It’s a really lonely place. It’s very dark sometimes. It’s really hard to get out of. And let’s be honest, it can be a scary place to be.
You’re not alone. I’m just validating that and acknowledging that because that’s what I’m sure a lot of you have experienced at times, regularly, or once, or twice.
What to Expect from the Course
So, that’s what this course is all about. Through a process of educating and guiding you, I’m going to help you find the path back to a healthy reality. A place you can start to take back control of your choices with food and drink and live the life you want to live.
For eight weeks, I will take you on a journey. First, we will take a step back and look at ‘Your Life in Review’. I will connect to how the influences from your family of origin may be creating behaviours and patterns in your life today.
Next, we are going to have a look at who you are today. And ‘Who You Want To Be‘. What does your future self look like? I will help you establish a set of ‘Values‘ relevant to the life you want to lead. And, I am going to help you understand the behaviours that connect to those values that will keep you on course for the life you want to lead.
Next, to wrap this up, I’m going to offer you a set of ‘Tools, Skills, and Techniques‘ that will help ground you in the emotional storms. Skills that will help you stop being pushed around by those situations that are inevitably going to show up that have created these unwanted behaviours. I’m going to help you ‘Set Boundaries‘. To help you ‘Protect Your Energy‘. So food and drink can stay in the place that they should. To nourish you, help you thrive, and keep you showing up every day to be the woman that you want to be.
Read Your Answers Out Loud
Throughout the process, I’m going to ask you a set of evoking questions about what is important to you. What do you want, and how do you think you can do it? Your role is to show up and answer them in your truth. And read every answer out loud so you hear what you say. It is proven that you are likely to create a more sustainable change when you hear the change in your own voice, talking the change yourself, and making the argument about change. You will build your own connection to what needs, reasons and desires you have for change.
For anyone signing up for my course, I encourage you to ensure you do this with each answer you give. Because when you hear it yourself, you believe it, and then the choice is yours. Because when someone tells you what to do, you resist. And it’s really unlikely that you are going to do it.
Finding the Way Forward
My Change Talk Coaching course is a compassionate look at how women react to trauma and why they turn to food and drink for comfort. I take you by the hand and guide you through 8 weeks of the cycles of behaviour, breaking the destructive relationship, assessing your condition and motivation, and directing and building your energy so you can find your way out – back to the person you were meant to be and into your future self. Because all of this wisdom is there inside of you. I promise you, it’s all there. I’m just here to help you tap into it. I’m here to help you find that path. Your role is to reach in and grab it.
“Three things to think about before you start:
- Accept that sometimes your biggest critic and bully is you.
- Your pain is often caused by the pursuit of only feeling pleasure.
- You don’t have to be ready to change; you only need to be willing.”
Talk soon,
Fleur Elizabeth