“I’m Coming For You” - Female Empowerment or Super-Chucker Projection of Wounds Unresolved?

I’ve had some experiences lately – and I know at least three other women who’ve faced the same – where women have, out of the blue, become unnecessarily aggressive. We’re talking nasty comments and overt attempts at dominance where it simply isn’t warranted.

It made me think: how quickly has our beloved space for "girl power" morphed into a Trump-esque, vitriolic playground of moral indignity?

In our chat today, I want to explore the darker side of empowerment: reduced allyship, overt competition, and the "every woman for herself" mentality. Most importantly, I want to talk about how you can handle it when that "Super-Chucker" toxic energy is projected at you.

What happened to the mission?

If female empowerment is the process of providing women with equal rights, agency, and the independence to make their own life choices, where is the boundary before it tips to the dark side? In an ideal world, empowerment is about championing self-worth, confidence, and intuition. It’s about removing the barriers of co-dependence, refusing to "make ourselves small" to fit into a male-dominated world, and ensuring violence and discrimination are no longer swept under the rug.

So, why does it suddenly feel like the mission has gone a little unhinged?

Thankfully, the world changed. The #MeToo movement broke ground and rightly shone a light on the abuse of power. It allowed women to move out of the shadows and share their trauma. There was a new, energetic force at play that made it okay to speak about the previously taboo. Now, we see female figureheads and leaders in the foreground of politics with great stories of evolution and healing – truly inspirational examples of hope and authenticity.

But we also have social media: the new source of "truth." It’s a platform where everyone is an "expert," and every clip is presented as absolute fact. Here, empowerment often means saying whatever you like and getting rewarded for it because you are "liked." Our human need for acceptance has gone into overdrive.

Then you have leaders like Trump, whose mission seems to be to do what he wants, whenever he wants, with no regard for consequences. This is where I fear the boundaries are getting blurred. We have a melting pot of hyperactive change – empowering women at an accelerated rate – colliding social media and leadership styles that advocate for zero accountability.

Sadly, as our movement glows on one side, the light dims on the other. The rising tide lifts all boats, right? Or, as the more vulgar saying goes: "As the water rises, so does all the shit." Is that what’s happening here? Are the less-than-inspirational voices rising along with the tide?

The Rise of "Fight Energy"

I’m writing this because I have personally seen women being yelled at from close range over minor misunderstandings. I’ve seen public fights escalate into rages involving hurtful language and that popular (yet illegal) tactic: pulling out a phone to film someone to intimidate, threaten, and bully.

It’s bloody nasty stuff – and it’s happening without consequences. It could be dealt with calmly, but instead, these women choose "fight energy" – a play for dominance through fear. When the narrative was supposed to be about lifting each other up, that allyship seems to be diminishing, replaced by an unsettling competitive power play.

We saw it solidified on television this week. I’m talking about MAFS (Married at First Sight). Two million viewers tuned in to watch women viciously "come for each other" at dinner parties without an inch of decorum. The show isn’t about finding love anymore; it’s about sensationalising unhinged behaviour because it gets better ratings than romance.

By broadcasting this, networks are setting a new tone – a landslide of lowering standards. They make it "acceptable" because it’s prime time. It is irresponsible. I thought this was the stuff that only happened in America, not here.

The "Super-Chuckers" of Toxic Vomit

The female species can be competitive at the best of times. But when you put a group of women together where some have a "confident persona" (masking deep emotional trauma or narcissistic traits) and others have a weaker sense of self, you get a bloodbath of toxic projection where fragile hearts get broken.

I call these women "Super-Chuckers" of toxic vomit.

They believe empowerment gives them the right to air anything they want under the guise of "being authentic" or "speaking my truth." In reality, they are projecting unresolved wounds onto anyone unlucky enough to be in their company – or, in my case, just passing by.

But remember: everything is a choice. You have a choice whether to accept their "frame" or set a boundary to this rubbish.

How to Deal with the Darker Side of Female Empowerment

Shifting the Lens: Your Guide to Liberation

Frankly, I call BS on this. It’s women refusing to take responsibility for their own pain. This isn’t empowered freedom; it’s a Masquerade Ball gone wrong. Here is how you can slow things down so you don’t react, and liberate yourself from the energetic pull:

• The Vampire Identity: This woman is wearing a scary mask representing her past pain. Shaming you is a manipulative tactic to make herself feel stronger by making you feel weaker. She is feeding off your reaction – she gets a dopamine hit from the attack.

• The Mirror of Maturity: Whatever she is spewing is what she fears most within herself. Her behaviour usually reflects the age at which her original trauma occurred – not her actual age. If you gave her a mirror and said these words to her, she would wither.

• Fact or Fiction: Ask yourself: "Is what she’s saying true, or is this just her narrative?" If you feel triggered, use it as a "nugget of gold" to find where you still need to heal. Where did you first experience this feeling when you were younger? Thanking her (internally) takes her power away.

• The Rubber Wall: Imagine a rubber wall around her. All the crap she spews hits that wall and bounces back onto her. You are untouchable. Smile, wave, and let her drown in her own toxic vomit.

Small Strategies for Big Change

• Stick to your values: Continue your personal projects – your garden, your renovation, learning something new. Focus on the simple things that bring you peace.

• Don’t engage: By keeping silent, the "vampire" can’t feed. Track your emotional responses, keep your confidence, and walk away.

• Decline the drama: If you know these types will be at an event, don’t go. It’s okay not to show up.

• Don’t overshare: Hold your confidence tight. Don’t offer personal details to people looking for "connection" just to use as ammunition later.

• Trust your gut: You will know when someone’s energy isn’t right. Trust that instinct every single time.

My friend, if you are new to my Friday chats, I am Fleur Elizabeth. I’ve lived through trauma and come out the other side as a values-based coach specialising in psychology and nutrition. To me, empowerment means supporting each other to take life in a new direction – the direction of your choice.

Next week, I am opening my calendar for coaching with a special introductory offer for the first month of appointments booked.

I am here to hold your hand and be in your corner as you navigate the minefield of this ever-changing world.

Talk soon,

Fleur Elizabeth x

P.S. To anyone who feels like they may have been a "Super-Chucker" to other women: Acknowledgment is the first step. Projecting your pain doesn’t have to be how you always show up. If you want to move past the narratives that keep you stuck, I’m happy to work with you – compassionately, but practically. Reach out and let’s have a chat. I think you’ll find it surprising – it might not be the talk you’re expecting, but it’s likely the one you’ll feel some relief from.