When Faced with Betrayal: Choose Your Attitude

This piece is a little late. To be honest, last week was a total doozy and I was stretched to my absolute limits. It was a hard, shitty week spent dealing with bureaucratic, deflective, and unqualified people shamefully dodging their responsibilities. It was a lot.

Between freak storms and golf-ball-sized hail, a world that was flowing beautifully forward was suddenly slammed against a wall. For some bloody uncomfortable reason, the universe decided I needed a massive pause. My sanctuary was compromised, my safety net broke, and the places where I should have been able to trust became liabilities – to my home and my health.

This scenario has me reflecting on how the betrayal of a "system" or a "protector" feels hauntingly similar to a personal betrayal. It really cuts deep and raw. Bloody, in fact.

Whether it’s an insurer, a professional, or an institution, there is a sacred contract of care involved. They are meant to be the "shield" in your vulnerability. We pay our bills, we sign renewals, and we buy into the promise of a safety net. But what happens when that shield becomes the source of the harm? What happens when the people paid to protect our sanctuaries instead tear them apart?

It’s a violation that hits the core. And it’s a trigger – even in the plural sense.

For me, the big triggers are a loss of security and being blindsided by authoritative figures I was told to trust. In the past, this would have sent me into a spiral: five glasses of red wine, lavish amounts of food, and spewing negative energy into the atmosphere. It’s a vibration that stays in the toilet and trashes your health.

But calling out your triggers takes away their power.

In the midst of the chaos, I had to stop and remind myself to choose my attitude. I had to recognise the triggers to ensure I didn’t fall back into old cracks. One by one, I give them a name. There is that old Fleury-fear of losing my security. There is that “old me” thought of being screwed over. Naming and taming is the most effective way to stop the brain from spiralling into those ugly, overpowering thoughts. (When you come to see me, I’ll teach you this skill; it is incredible how much peace and power it gives back to you.)

In times of betrayal, we always have a choice in how we show up. Even when physical safety is compromised, we choose our attitude. We choose to protect our precious energy. We can practise the skill of setting firm boundaries, pushing back, and reclaiming our power. We can reject bogus actions that try to minimise what we are rightfully afforded by the letter of the law.

Grounded, backing myself, and sure-footed, I stood my ground with people acting with significantly less integrity than they had once portrayed. And wouldn’t you know it – once I introduced some legal codes and a few firm confirmations that their actions would be exposed to the "big guns" and regulatory bodies, I got some action. It’s been hard, extremely exhausting, and ugly. Painful energy to feel around me. But this short-term pain is worth the long-term peace. I know that peace comes from standing firm and holding my boundaries like a motherfucker. I know, this too, shall pass.

I am choosing to see what comes out of this. While this is bloody annoying and a giant pile of poo, I can’t change that it happened. I can only impact how I show up – how I hold myself accountable, and how I hold those "slippery suckers" accountable for the contracts they signed to keep me and my home safe. (Trust me, you wouldn't want to be my opponent in this argument; it isn't enjoyable for them.)

True empowerment is realising you have a voice. Liberation comes from trusting that "faithful gut feeling" that tells you when something isn't right – and taking action. It comes from communicating your needs and refusing to ignore them. In the world we’re living in now, if we don’t take care of ourselves and what is rightfully ours, someone will just come in and take it. Not today, sister.

These skills aren't always a birthright; you have to learn how to employ them. I can say without any doubt, you probably don’t trust yourself all the time. And if you don't have a voice yet, and boundaries are a scary thought, my friend, I am here to show you how to find one. I can show you how to trust yourself and stand up for your values.

I didn’t truly start to trust myself until my late 40s. It was the ultimate game-changer. It’s the difference between being a victim of a system and being the authority of your own life.

So, come, tell me: do you – do you trust yourself completely?

Or have you ever experienced a betrayal of trust from a system or a "professional" that was supposed to have your back? How did you find your way back to your power?

If you want to learn how, come with me. I’ll hold your hand and help you build some ripper skills that might just come in handy one day. Because, as I’ve just experienced, there could be a metaphoric hailstorm of black water coming your way, too.

Fleur Elizabeth x