The Message in the Mess - Trust Series

If you have been following along, I hope you’re starting to see that building the skill of trusting yourself isn’t a "flick of a switch" process. It’s not black and white. It’s a restoration project – a layering of building blocks that you work through to reach and experience a genuine sense of liberation.

So far, we’ve covered self-empathy, accepting your past, and a deep acceptance of all your "colours." Today, we’re adding a vital block: learning to embrace your mistakes and seeing them as a friend, not a foe.

Let’s Normalise the Mess

Building these skills and learning to trust yourself is really a process of making change happen in your life. When we try to bring about real change, we are, by definition, stepping into the unknown. Doing things differently than before can feel scary – like there’s a boogie monster lurking in the shadows.

It’s completely understandable to feel a lack of confidence. While change is afoot, things may not always go as planned to begin with. Mistakes aren't just possible; they are a guaranteed part of your whole Change Experience. Let’s be honest: we all stumble. Whether you’ve "fallen off the wagon," struggled with a new routine, or feel like you’ve taken a major wrong turn – trust me, you are not alone. It’s easy to drown in guilt or shame, but you don't have to.

On the road to trusting yourself, the most important thing you can do is normalise the mess. If things fall apart, that’s okay. If you allow yourself to step back, you’ll see there is actually so much to learn and discover about yourself. The message is right there in what happened – and what didn’t happen. You’ve caught a glimpse of a part of yourself that’s trying to communicate something important.

Decide to trust the choices you make to learn and evolve because of that message. Trust that you will choose the next stepping stone, even if it’s just one small step forward to the next place you need to learn.

The "Crunchy" Bits

Trusting yourself after a complicated history isn't about striving for an impossible, perfect version of yourself where doubt never exists. It’s about connecting with that quiet voice of intuition. It’s about owning your mistakes because that is how we evolve. You hit that roadblock because something wasn't right – trust that perspective.

Your imperfections are messengers and teachers. A stumble is a guide for the better, not a shameful act to be hidden. I truly believe it’s the "crunchy" mistakes that often turn out to be the best things for you. They add flavour, texture, and depth to your journey. (And by "crunchy," I mean those parts of life that just aren't smooth!)

Watch Out for the Energy Vampires

I encourage you to own your mess royally – but learn to observe during this time. It’s your story, and you should own it with pride. Observe the judgey onlookers who want to highlight your failure. Be careful about the commentary your "friends" provide when things aren’t going well.

Do they support you, or do they jump on the mess and fester in it? Do they want to share their own "shit life" stories and drag you into their misery? Remember: the frame they give you is a perspective from their world. You don’t have to accept a frame that paints you as "comrades of doom and gloom." They are stuck in their own low vibration; you don't have to lower yourself to match it.

In this process, you will start to trust who you actually want to spend time with – people who also trust themselves and experience that sense of liberation. Steer clear of those you only "trauma bond" with, or those who "trauma dump" all over you. There is a distinct difference in the feeling you get when you spend time with people who have light versus those who suck you dry. You have a choice. Trust your ability to make that choice, too.

Trusting Yourself Feels Like Coming Home

This path might seem long and winding, but as you practise these tools, a shift happens. It starts to feel less like "work" and more like who you are. It’s a subtle awakening, but you’ll know it when you arrive... there are no fireworks, I’m afraid, but there is a warm sense and a knowing of coming home to yourself.

You’re creating a space where you can back yourself – which is what "reclaiming your power" really means. It’s a space for making conscious choices. You’re no longer at the mercy of every passing thought or the sting of painful feelings. Using a "fact or fiction" lens allows you to see change for what it is. You’re finding your adult truth against old narratives that drive automatic behaviours that no longer serve you.

Yes, my friend, you will take a tumble – the best of us already have. Just gently dust yourself off with kindness and self-compassion and keep moving forward. Keep walking that beautiful path of self-discovery towards the brighter future you so deeply deserve.

Repeat after me:

“This is all possible. I have the capacity to practise these skills to trust myself.”

Ciao for now.

Fleur Elizabeth x